Smoking Amends

This is an open letter to everyone I ever stood next to, sat next to, or walked in front of, when I was smoking.

It was not until I stopped smoking that I even realized how annoying this is: when people walking in front of me, flick their ashes off and then they blow all over me. This drives me nuts! But, the thing is, I always did this too, and never even gave it a second thought. Standing OUTSIDE, waiting on the bus, I certainly never thought my smoke bothered anyone. Ok, occasionally I thought about it, but I justified it with the thought that we were OUTSIDE in the fresh air so why should it bother anyone? Now, those clouds of smoke blowing my way ARE an irritation, especially when I have just washed my hair. Another thing I used to do and never thought about too much, was lighting up on the escalator. Now all my clouds of smoke were actually driven into the face of the people behind me. How could I have been so thoughtless???

Now the worst, smoking when sitting next to people who don't. Especially my kids. I used to have this "not so smart idea", that if I just blew it away from them, it was ok, that it shouldn't bother them. Now I know better, and boy do I feel bad about subjecting them to all those years of smoke filled rooms. Yeah, the smoking in the restaurant thing was rude, but I was a MOM and I loved my children. Why this didn't enter my brain properly is a mystery, but until I stopped smoking 2 years ago, it didn't. I also feel bad about all the money I spent on my cigarettes and telling them we didn't have enough money for other stuff. It is such twisted thinking! I stopped smoking in Nov. almost 2 and half years ago, and have already saved 3,600 euros! Is that amazing or what? I am pretty sure I thought about this when I was smoking, that it was a pure waste of money, but not a big enough waste to stop.

So, this is my open apology to all of you who got subjected to my selfish behaviour. I am truly sorry.

(Some of you may be interested in how I stopped after 35 years of addiction, but I will save that for another post. )